Lesson For My Unborn Son I'll Never Have Because I'll Be Cursed With Daughters

Second installment of my rule book for my non existent son. I’ve touch upon this before in blogs and I’ve talked about it on MailTime and KFC Radio, but I don’t think I’ve ever written it down in its own blog for the sake of educating the youth. Today’s lesson is:

Don’t ever, ever, ever have a serious girlfriend while you’re in college.

The first lesson was about how you should 100% go to a college with a big time sports program. Now this is the follow up lesson to make sure you don’t ruin your time in college once you get there. Under no circumstances should you ever have a serious girlfriend during your college years. And this isn’t even a knock on chicks or relationships, I’m not trying to sound like some frat boy date rapist telling you to fuck everything that walks (but seriously, fuck anything that walks). I’m just saying there’s a time and a place to be in a monogamous relationship and college AIN’T IT. You could find a 10 out of 10 smokeshow that has never said the word “no” in bed and she still ain’t worth taking yourself out of the game. Yea, college should mostly be about hooking up as much as humanly possible, but its also 4 years where you get to do whatever the fuck you want, whenever you want. You wanna drink with dudes until you piss your pants and throw up? You can do it. You wanna bang any chicks who are anywhere from 2 out of 10 to 10 out of 10, you can do it. Maybe you’re a not a total degenerate and wanna join teams and clubs and be an upstanding student? Thats cool too, I guess. But no matter what it is, having a girlfriend limits you from doing all that other shit. It goes both ways too – chicks, don’t have a boyfriend. You wanna be a big drunken slut, go ahead girl, do you. But at the end of the day having a serious boyfriend or girlfriend in college will absolutely take away from the fun you have. Having a girlfriend ain’t all bad, but you have literally the rest of your life to do that. From 22 on to do all that shit. But the most important thing in college is doing literally whatever you want, whenever you want. Always saying yes or being able to say no when you want to. And having a serious girlfriend is the quickest way to lose that luxury.

And yes, this is like 99% about banging as many chicks as you can. So consider this 2 lessons in one, non-existent-son. Have as much sex with as many partners as your dick will permit.